


Down the Path We Have Chose

by PalestAzure



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Alternative Story, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:00:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22173706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PalestAzure/pseuds/PalestAzure
Summary: Ethan and Zyra are going through their own separate crises after the events of chapter 13. They are both navigating their situations, but Zyra is there to help Ethan as he struggles with his failures.
Relationships: Dr. Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart), Ethan Ramsey/Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 9





	Down the Path We Have Chose

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place right after Ethan’s decision in chapter 13. The title is based on NIN’s “We’re in This Together”.

He held his keys in his hand, hesitating to put one in the lock, turn the knob, and open his door. However, he couldn’t feel the coldness of the metal and the hard and sometimes jagged edges that gave each key its distinct shape. Nor could he feel their weight. He only knew he was holding them because he could see his fingers curled around them, with the ends of a few of the metal objects peeking out from between a couple of his digits.

The lack of the physical sensation mirrored the numbness that now consumed him. His last release of emotion that he could muster was when he let himself submit to her embrace out in front of the hospital. She had seen his tears. She had also tasted them when he couldn’t allow himself to pull away when she gently kissed him. It was a type of comfort that he didn’t realize he needed until it happened. At that moment, it didn’t matter that they could be seen by others. He had resisted for so long. There was nothing else that he could have lost. Not at that moment. So he let himself be vulnerable as his head dropped to her shoulder, holding onto her as if it were the last time. In his mind, it was. With that thought, he welcomed the comfort she offered, knowing what he was going to do next.

Now he was alone standing outside the door of his apartment. He was wrong about everything, something he was not used to. All the risks weren’t worth it in the end after all. He lost Naveen’s battle. He lost the diagnostics team by compromising his ethics. He lost his faith in himself. He lost her. But most of all, he lost his sense of purpose. Ultimately, he had failed.

When he could finally let himself in to escape the realities outside, he saw Jenner sitting in front of the door, his tail wagging back and forth along the floor. His chocolate brown coat shined in a radiant glow. His floppy ears slightly perked up. The edges of his mouth curled back against his cheeks in coordination with an intense happiness that shined from his large, black eyes. Jenner rose up from his hind legs and stomped his front paws in excitement, barking at Ethan. But Ethan didn’t respond to the welcome. Even with Jenner, he couldn’t look directly at his friend. Jenner was also his family. He knew Jenner would never see Naveen again. Naveen would never join them for a Sunday morning walk again. They would never again spend time at Naveen’s house watching Jenner jump into the river after a ball or after a bird hanging out on the surface of the water. Jenner would never again have the opportunity to rest his head in Naveen’s lap and fall asleep to Naveen lovingly petting his head. How many more times could he disappoint his family? He couldn’t bear to disappoint someone else.

When he shut the door, he was overcome by a sudden weakness and fell to the floor. He leaned back against the door, his legs bent with his knees pointed up towards the ceiling. As he dropped his head, every feeling that he had tried to contain and suppress inside him finally poured out into sobs and floods of tears. He could barely move as his throat burned and chest ached from the sudden release of emotions. The numbness no longer was there to protect him.

Jenner approached and nuzzled Ethan’s hand with his warm snout. A soft whimper escaped him. Ethan looked up at his friend with eyes red from the crying.

“I couldn’t save him, boy. I couldn’t…”

* * *

Zyra was in the cafeteria staring at her phone. His name was on her screen, and she contemplated about whether or not to text him. She opened her messages and began scrolling through them. There weren’t many, but reading through them reminded her of their times together as she began falling more and more in love with him. The first one she ever received from him was the directions to his apartment. She remembered how open with her he was that night. That’s when she realized how much he truly trusted her. Then there was a short thread from when they were in Miami before their ill-fated evening together. She had felt comfortable sharing a room with him and wondered if that feeling predicted how a real relationship would be together. She also learned of his true feelings for her. The last thread was about changing the time of meeting up to do research about Naveen. They had met up at Derry Roasters, but there was an awkwardness between them. He was obviously pained as he sat across from her, sipping on his coffee and reading through articles. How much she wanted to at the very least reach out and comfortingly place her hand on top of his, but she needed to respect his boundaries.

She closed the screen on her phone. Her mind wandered as she absentmindedly poked her salad with her fork.

_Dr. Banerji…_

She hoped she had given Ethan the best answer. She believed she did. Like Mrs. Martinez, Dr. Banerji couldn’t live his final days in a hospital. He deserved to do what he wanted with his remaining time. Zyra did whatever it took to make sure Mrs. Martinez got her wishes. Dr. Banerji needed the same support.

However, now everything was a mess with the investigation. Even with everything that was going on with her, her mind always went straight to Ethan. She hadn’t heard from him in a few days. She knew he needed his space, and she wanted to respect that. But she also wanted to contact him because she needed to know how he was doing. The last time she was with him, she pleaded for him to not leave. She selfishly wanted him to stay for her. She shook her head at the thought. _He’ll come to you when he’s ready_. She truly believed that. Now, she had to return to work.

During her rounds with Aurora, her phone went off. Because she was with a patient, she ignored it. Afterwards, she parted from Aurora to check on some labs and pulled out her phone. Her notification stated that there was a missed called from Ethan Ramsey.

She went to a private area in the construction zone, an area she knew well. Her thumb hit the call back button when she immediately knew she was alone. While raising her phone to her ear, her heart began racing, her palms sweating, as it rung on the other side. There was no response. She continued to let it ring. Still nothing. She clicked the end call button and sighed. Her finger nervously tapped against the screen of her phone. She decided to try one more time. This time, the phone only rang three times before she heard a dead silence on the other end.

“Ethan?”

There was no reply.

“Ethan… are you okay?” Her voice dropped in concern. She swallowed hard as she waited.

“I just wanted to hear your voice.” His voice was soft but different. Almost unrecognizable.

Her eyes started to become glossy. She bit her lip, trying to keep herself from crying.

“I’m sorry if I’m bothering you…” His voice sounded full of regret.

“No, never.”

The silence intruded their conversation again.

“How are you?”

Ethan didn’t respond. She couldn’t even hear his breathing on the other end. Zyra leaned back against the wall, while anticipating any response from him.

“Could you come by?” The tone in his voice appeared a bit reluctant, almost shy.

Zyra felt the weight in her body shift, as her knees nearly buckled from under her.

“Yes, of course. I’ll come the moment my shift ends.”

* * *

Ethan dropped his phone on the bed. It fell between the folds of the unmade bedding. Jenner was lying on the bed. A single bag was open next to him. Ethan began filling the bag with clothes from his drawers and closet. He left to the bathroom returning with some toiletries that he placed inside the bag. His motions were mechanic. He wasn’t thinking much about what he was doing. After zipping it up, he went to his nightstand and opened the drawer. He pulled out his blue passport and tossed it next to the bag.

He looked around on the bed for his phone. Jenner poked at it with his nose, signaling to Ethan of its location. Ethan rubbed his friend’s head and sat next to him on the bed. He stared at the plane ticket on his phone. He didn’t know when he’d return, but he wanted to see her one last time.

But perhaps it would be a mistake.

He wasn’t in the right frame of mind to see anyone. Zyra, though, was different. There was something about her that drew him to her unlike any other person he has had in his life. He trusted her, and he also felt things for her that he couldn’t even admit to himself. Was he being selfish for asking her to come? All he did was lean on her through his pain.

He also felt ashamed by whom he had become. He was her hero. She admired him, trusted him, _cared_ for him. He didn’t deserve her affection nor her admiration, he believed. In the end, he felt to be nothing but a fraud. How could he ever look her in the eyes again? How could she ever believe anything he ever said to her again? Just like with Naveen, he was wrong. He wasn’t the mentor she needed, nor a person she could depend on. He felt defeated, and now he regretted asking her to come. He was afraid to face her.

* * *

She sat on his floor. He was lying on his side with his head resting in her lap. Jenner was lying parallel next to Ethan, cuddled up against his stomach. Zyra ran her fingers through his thick hair, caressing the longer strands away from his eyes. When he had opened the door to let her in, the first thing she had noticed were his eyes. It was as if there was a vacancy in them because he had fully checked out from his own existence. He didn’t say a word when they finally reunited. Although he was looking directly at her, he didn’t appear to see her. It was as if he was in a daze. All she could do was reach up, wrap her arms around his neck, and pull him into an embrace. However, Ethan didn’t move. Zyra could hear his slow, short breathing and feel the weakened beating of his heart against her own chest. He felt lifeless in her arms.

Now, he laid motionless on the floor. One of his arms was limp along her leg, his hand resting against her thigh. She continued caressing his head, moving her fingers down along the curve of his neck and back up through his hair. She continued this back and forth motion as she stared down at him, her expression full of worry. She contemplated whether she should say something or just continue sitting there with him.

Her eyes searched the room, noticing a packed bag next to the coffee table. A passport and some documents were neatly stacked on top of the bag. Ethan hadn’t said anything about leaving. He hadn’t uttered one word since she arrived.

She looked over at Jenner. Jenner’s head laid against the hardwood floor, nestled between his front paws. The length of his body was nearly as long as the full length of Ethan’s legs. Zyra noticed how Jenner was also staring at Ethan, blinking rarely.

“I remember that one time you asked me to check on Jenner because you were working late and gonna stay overnight.”

Zyra began, softly speaking.

“When I entered, he was all happy at first, but then his head dropped and he started to whine. It sounded like he was crying. He really thought it was you coming home.”

Zyra studied Ethan as she was telling the story. He still had no physical response.

“Even though I went to fill his bowls with water and food, he was still standing by the door, staring at it, waiting for you to come home.”

Her hand moved to his back, as she began rubbing it gently.

“I’m glad Jenner is here with you. He loves you. And Dr. Banerji loves you.”

She paused for a second before leaning over as far as she could and pressing her lips to his ear. “I love you, too, Ethan.” She whispered into his ear.

With those words, Ethan closed his eyes tightly. The small lines at the edges of his eyes and between his brows appeared slowly like an artist painting lines to awaken an expression on a face, a pained expression. She lightly ran her lips along the curve of his ear before giving it a light, lingering kiss.

She sat back up and continued rubbing his back, feeling the knots in his muscles. When her hand moved to his shoulder, she felt him grab her hand and hold it desperately within his. Jenner lifted and then tilted his head in response to Ethan’s sudden movement, his eyes still on him.

“I’m not the same man you think you love. I don’t even recognize myself anymore.” His voice sounded strained and tired.

“Someone I deeply admire and trust once gave me some solid advice. He told me that I have to examine my mistakes, learn from them, and then let them go no matter how difficult it can be.” She squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Perhaps I’m better at giving advice than following it.”

He sat up and placed his head in his hands. Jenner also sat up, mirroring him, and licked Ethan’s arm.

“Ethan…” Zyra wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind, pressing her cheek to his neck. “Do you remember our discussion about observations at Derry Roasters? You were a hundred percent right about me. I’m afraid of ending up alone the more I achieve. But I know I was also a hundred percent right about you, too.”

She nuzzled his neck.

“You feel lost. You’re in a place in your career where you don’t know where to go because you have accomplished so much. And now the one time you aren’t able to solve something is when it is your family. You feel it’s confirmation of all the doubts you’ve been having about yourself. And because you have set such high expectations of yourself, you feel you have failed.”

She tightened her arms around him with one of her hands lingering on his chest above his heart.

“You also feel lonely. You want to push me away because you’re afraid that you’ll lose me too if you let me in. You’ve lost someone important to you and now you’re losing someone else. But…”

She positioned her body in front of him, and grabbed his hand, placing it on her chest.

“Do you feel that? I’m here.” She pressed his hand more firmly against her chest with both of her hands. “You’re not alone.” 

Ethan could feel the rhythms of her heart as if each beat was a specific language speaking directly to him. Each beat was a reminder of her love for him. Her love scared him because he only disappointed people he loved most.

“I’ve disappointed Naveen, you, and myself. I have nothing to offer anymore. Not to anyone.” He couldn’t meet her eyes. He looked off in the distance.

“No, Ethan.” She cupped both sides of his face, forcing him to look directly at her. “You are Ethan Ramsey, not only one of the top doctors in the country, but in the world.”

Ethan sighed in disagreement, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“No, look at me, Ethan.” Ethan painfully closed his eyes. When he finally opened them, they hesitantly met Zyra’s. She searched his eyes for any hint of a response.

“You will get through this. You’ll find a way, and when you do, you’re going to come back stronger than ever. I truly believe that.”

Ethan shook his head. “I…”

She thought back to the packed bag. She didn’t know where he was going, but she knew where he must go.

“Go to him.”

Ethan furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Go to Dr. Banerji.”

She noticed a flicker of light escape the blues of his irises. Her fingers caressed both sides of his face along the longer growth of his stubble.

“He needs you as much as you need him right now.”

“I can’t.”

“Try. Perhaps spending time with him can give you some sense of closure.”

Ethan leaned his forehead against hers, and clasped his hands against hers that were still cradling the sides of his face. Jenner nuzzled up against them both. All three of them sat there together in silence, huddled up together as if there was no one else in the world but each other.

* * *

Ethan drove up to a large house built along the river. There were no other houses for miles. The surroundings were lined with tall trees with thick trunks. Many of the leaves had turned a variety of shades of yellows, reds, and oranges. Many of the leaves were still lingering on the branches, while others gathered in piles at the base. There was a stone path that ran alongside the bricked driveway up to the entrance of the house. A porch wrapped around the front of the house, facing the direction of the river. There was a slight breeze in the air that created movement in the trees and across the surface of the river.

Ethan put his car in park and turned off the engine. When he had left the main city, he drove in the direction of the airport. He still had it in his mind to get far away from Edenbrook and from Boston for a while. But her words echoed in his mind as if acting as his conscience.

 _Go to him_.

_He needs you._

_Get some closure._

_Make final, positive memories._

That’s when he bypassed the exit to the airport and continued driving. He was now standing outside of Naveen’s house. He knew it was going to be difficult for him to see him again, but he had to try.

Jenner was obediently sitting in the back seat, panting with his tongue out. Ethan opened the back door, and Jenner immediately ran towards a pile of leaves under the closest tree and jumped into them. The leaves flew up in all directions with a couple sticking to Jenner’s fur.

Ethan opened the trunk of his Sedan to pull out his bag. Suddenly his phone went off. It was vibrating in his pocket. When he pulled it out and looked at the screen, he saw Harper’s name. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, debating whether to answer.

“Hello, Harper.”

“Ethan. I’ve been trying to reach you.”

“It’s not a good time.”

“If you answered, it’s obviously a good time. I need to talk to you.”

“Please make it quick.”

“Oh, Ethan. I wanted to check on you. What you did is out of character for you. I hope this was just a rash decision.”

“Is this a personal or professional call, Harper?”

Harper did not immediately respond. He heard her take a deep breath, albeit quiet, before continuing their conversation.

“You know I still care about you.”

“Harper…”

“Look, Ethan. This is difficult for me to say, so please just listen. I’m still here if you need me, if you need someone to talk to, not as your boss, but as a friend. Something serious has happened with you and perhaps Naveen, and I want to be there for you if you’d let me.”

Ethan didn’t know how to respond to that. He knew what Harper was implying. After their relationship ended, it turned into something more on again-off again. If one needed the other, they would be there for the other. They would revert back to their usual routines until they ended up arguing and agreeing that they needed to put a stop to it. This continued until she became chief. Perhaps a year ago he would have welcomed it, but much like Harper, he had changed. Although she was someone he highly respected, his feelings had also changed, and the memory of Zyra immediately came to him.

 _Do you feel that? I’m here._ _You’re not alone._

“I appreciate that.” It was the only way he could think of to respond to her offer.

“And if you decide to come back, your position will still be here. It would be difficult for me to replace someone with your experience.”

“I apologize for putting you in this position, but I’m out of town.”

“I see.

“I have to go, Harper.”

“Understandable, but please call me back when you return.”

“Goodbye, Harper.”

Ethan hung up, but still held the phone in his hand. Speaking with Harper brought up an influx of emotions. But they were not for her. Someone else had been in the forefront of his mind, and he thought about contacting her. He was there because of Zyra. He went to his messages and began typing a text. However, his thumb hovered over the send button. He stared at her name that was written above the discussion. Perhaps a thank you wasn’t best said through a text.

He put his phone in his back pocket and grabbed his bag.

“Jenner, boy, let’s go.”

Jenner had been rolling around in the leaves, but the moment he heard Ethan’s voice, he quickly ran towards the stairs that led up to the porch. Ethan followed behind Jenner along the path.

“Oh, Jenner! What a surprise!” Ethan heard a voice coming from the porch. Ethan approached and stopped at the foot of the stairs.

Naveen was sitting on a porch swing with Jenner licking his face. He chuckled to the tickling sensation of Jenner’s tongue against his skin. His hands rubbed the dog’s head until he noticed Ethan standing below.

Naveen got up and walked to the top of the stairs. Jenner sat in content on the porch swing as he watched Naveen.

Ethan stood with his hands in his pockets, his bag sitting next to his feet. Naveen gazed down at his son from behind his spectacles. Ethan’s face had serious lines, but he tried to force himself to meet Naveen’s eyes. He felt ashamed and didn’t know what his next move would be.

“Your face is going to stay like that.” Naveen gently smiled at him. Jenner barked. “See. Even Jenner agrees.”

Ethan couldn’t hold back a smile. He walked up the steps towards Naveen. Once he reached the top, he hugged him tightly, almost apologetically. Naveen embraced him in return, patting him on the back.

Naveen motioned towards Ethan’s bag at the foot of the stairs. “Planning on staying?”

“I was hoping to.”

“Good.”


End file.
